在师父的日记中，几乎篇篇渗透了强烈的、自我精进的这样一个气息呀！满篇都是这样的。所以在讲《广论》的时候，我有时候倒觉得师父有一些东西讲得云淡风轻，可是在他的日记里都是极度深刻的。就是每一步都像一个小学生一样，非常非常地扎实和认真地做功夫，没有一点点花拳绣脚的迹象，一点都没有！他非常深刻地以《菩提道次第广论》的法理来明照自己的心。其实师父就是这样做的，一步一个脚印这样做的，包括他作课诵，包括他见谁了、说什么。还有师父教我很多事情，师父也把它写在日记里边，然后我再重看，每一篇、每一篇师父都在策励自己。你看到的就是非常非常虔诚的一个佛陀的弟子，非常地虔诚！ [02′42″]
提个问题哦！乃至「文字」的概念懂了吗？有的时候文字的概念也是没懂的。真正地懂了文字、懂了教理，我们自然就会拿着这个教理来照自己的心。像有一段师父的日记，说：「来此又时日，以所习道次第反观自己，深感不对。不对处是：不以法自净，而以法绳人。目前务必以戒自心，自己做到了，方好济人也。」「济」，是济度天下的济。 [00′55″]
所以为什么要学这些教理呢？为什么要学呢？一定是拿所学的来反观自己。注意！反观自己的身、语、意，反观自己。反观自己一定会看到什么？看到那个不对的东西。不对的是什么？法的方向一定是自净其意的，不是以法来约束别人的。要警戒自心！而且师父说：「自己做到了，方好济人啊！」 [01′30″]
在师父的日记中，几乎篇篇渗透了强烈的、自我精进的这样一个气息呀！满篇都是这样的。所以在讲《广论》的时候，我有时候倒觉得师父有一些东西讲得云淡风轻，可是在他的日记里都是极度深刻的。就是每一步都像一个小学生一样，非常非常地扎实和认真地做功夫，没有一点点花拳绣脚的迹象，一点都没有！他非常深刻地以《菩提道次第广论》的法理来明照自己的心。其实师父就是这样做的，一步一个脚印这样做的，包括他作课诵，包括他见谁了、说什么。还有师父教我很多事情，师父也把它写在日记里边，然后我再重看，每一篇、每一篇师父都在策励自己。你看到的就是非常非常虔诚的一个佛陀的弟子，非常地虔诚！ [02′42″]
所以在师父的日记中，看不到一丝丝他觉得对佛法懂了的这种感觉，每天都是拼命地策励自己。那我们会不会对佛法有受用？比如师父从来不间断诵《般若经》，师父诵《般若经》有受用的时候，会很欢喜地感恩上师三宝、护法的加持，从来没有说这是自己领会的。就像《般若经》上所讲的「承佛威力」，都是这样感恩佛陀。 [03′14″]
说：「佛法里边讲的空，你就要看破、要放下。」这点我就跟所有的老学员们探讨一下，也许新学员也用得上吧！就是能不能放下：我们学了二十多年了，不能再以一个像初心那样虔诚的状态来学了，这点能看破吗？在此处能看破吗？还有包括我自己，我自己现在是在给别人讲法吗？还是我在重新地学习。是学生吗？应该是个学生！我们在一起学习。二十年过去了，或者多少年过去了，我们看破了什么？每一次懂了，过一段时间发现：哎呀！还有更不懂的；再看一下师父的手抄，哇！又有不懂的。怎么觉得这个手抄好像越来越广、越来越深，你越走近它的时候，欸，它好像后退一样，就是觉得到底有多少未明了的深意在等待着我们去探讨。 [04′26″]
所以班长啊，可以放下自己的权威吗？可以放下自己在班里好像对《广论》很权威的那种感觉吗？像一个初心的小学生一样，老老实实地学习。甚至刚刚进班的那些同学、刚开始学的，有可能他们会比我们学得好喔！因为这条路不一定越晚来的他会学得不好，有的时候他会像一匹黑马，一下子冲到前面。 [04′52″]
所以抱持着一个真的好好跟佛学、跟师父学、跟所有广论班的同学学，乃至跟所有众生学习的心，抱持着这样的一个心，就不会动不动被「懂了、懂了！」这样一个东西障碍住。而且常常觉得自己懂了，久了会不会生起骄慢？一旦生起骄慢之后，学得越久的人就越骄慢。资格老呀、什么都看了啊、什么都知道了啊！唯有什么不知道？唯有心地不知道啊！这样的话，可能就成了师父在此处所破的那种学习状态。 [05′32″]
所以越久的人越容易发生懂了，然后就变成忽略。在听法的时候，心就非常浮浮地放在上面：「啊，我听了，知道怎么样！」就没有恭敬心了喔！没有认真的一种状态。如果没有恭敬心、没有认真的一种状态，如何去体会字里行间的深意？如何去体会在此处所指的内心相状是什么？我们怎么会发现我们错的、无明的部分呢？ [06′03″]
师父在这里边就问：「结果你真的看破了吗？你真的放下了吗？你真的自在了吗？我想仔细地检查，不能说没有，但是绝对没有真的做到。」关于「仔细检查」这几个字，在听吗？仔细检查，怎么检查呀？比如在听一堂广论课之前，你的听闻轨理要不要做？有听说过一个日本的剑道大师——宫本武藏吗？他说：「胜负决定在剑鞘之内。」剑还没有拿出来，那时候就决定胜负了。这一节课上得好不好，源于我们的准备、我们的发心。我们之前的准备很充分，这节课就会捞到大量的、很珍贵的法义；如果浮浮泛泛的一个态度，轻率地就开始听了，没有一个殷重、恭敬的心，那我们可能就浮浮泛泛了这节课。 [07′21″]
所以听闻轨理还在乎吗？老学员还在乎吗？记得我们一开始学习的时候，哇！听闻轨理要特别特别认真地去准备，因为这《广论》太深了，万一都听不懂怎么办？我们只是害怕我听不懂怎么办？不会常常生出：「啊，这又懂了、那又懂了！」不会生出来这样的心。那个时候是唯恐不懂、唯恐准备不周，所以在上课之前都拼命地思惟闻法胜利，再把自己的续流好好地安在——好像坐在一个说法的课堂上等著师父的身影出现。怀着那种非常恭敬的、期待的、万分珍惜的心，不想忽略过他讲的任何一个字。同学们还有没有这样的初心啊？自己好好地向内心检查一下。如果发现自己的心都没有当初那么努力和虔诚了，那能说我们懂了吗？ [08′26″]
Let me ask a question! Have you understood the conceptual meaning of “literal”? At times, we do not understand. If we truly understand the literal meanings and tenets, we would naturally apply the tenets to introspect ourselves. Like what Master wrote in one paragraph of his diary: “Coming here again, I reflect on what I have learned from the stages-on-the-path, I deeply feel a sense of unease. That is, instead of applying the tenets for self-purification, I apply the tenets on others. I should discipline my mind first. Only when I have achieved it, will I then be able to be of service to others.” That is, ‘be of service’ is to benefit all beings in the world. [00′55″]
Why do we need to learn these tenets? What is the reason for learning them? We should apply what we have learned to introspect ourselves. Take heed! Self-introspection means reflecting on one’s body, speech and mind. What would we discover when we do this? That is, we will duly notice that something is incorrect – what is incorrect? The purpose of the teachings is definitely for self-purification, instead of applying it on others. We need to guard our mind! As Master said, “Only when I have achieved it, will I then be able to be of service to others”! [01′30″]
In Master’s diary, practically every page is permeated with strong self-motivating messages! The entire diary is like that. Thus, while Master was teaching Lamrim, I noticed sometimes that he would gently touch on certain topics. However, he wrote about those topics in his diary with utmost profundity. That is, with each step, as if he was an elementary student, he put in very firm and earnest efforts, without any trace of ostentation, not at all! He applied the reasoning from the Great Treatise on the Stages of the Path to Enlightenment with utmost profundity to introspect himself. As a matter of fact, Master applied exactly in this manner – one step at a time with steady progress, which included his chanting sessions, whom he has met, or what he has said. Moreover, whatever Master has taught me was recorded in the diary as well. As I read it again, Master was always urging and encouraging himself in each and every piece of writing. What you see is an extremely sincere disciple of the Buddha, extremely sincere! [02′42″]
Thus, in Master’s diary, there is absolutely no indication that he felt he has already understood the Buddha Dharma. He would exhort himself with all his might, daily. Do we find the Buddha Dharma useful? For instance, Master chanted the Prajnaparamita Sutra without any discontinuity at all. When he felt he has benefited from chanting the Prajnaparamita Sutra, he would joyfully expressed his gratitude to his Gurus, the Three Jewels and the Dharma protectors for their blessings. He has never indicated that he understood it himself. As it is stated in the Prajnaparamita Sutra, “relying on the power of Buddha”, Master always appreciated Buddha in this manner. [03′14″]
He said, “The Emptiness referred to in Buddhism means that you should realize it and let go.” I would like to discuss this with all the senior students. Perhaps the newer students can benefit from it as well! It is about whether we are able to let go: we have studied [Lamrim] for over 20 years and can no longer learn with a beginner’s mind-set. Are we able to realize this? Can we truly realize at this point? This applies to me as well. Am I giving teachings to others now? Or, am I learning as an anew student? I should be a student! We are learning together. Though 20 years have passed, or regardless of how many years have passed, what have we realized? Though we might have understood each time, however, after a period of time, we would discover: “Alas! There are still much more to learn.” When we read Master’s discourse again, “Wow! There are still much more to be understood.” Why does it feel like this discourse seems more and more extensive and profound, as it seems that the closer you get, well, the farther it seems to recede. One would wonder how many more of these profound connotations that are yet to be understood, are awaiting our further exploration. [04′26″]
Hence, class facilitators! Is it possible to let go of your authority? Are you able to let go of this feeling of being an authority on Lamrim in class? Rather, one should learn earnestly with a beginner’s attitude. Even for those new classmates, the beginners, it is very likely that they may turn out to be better learners than us! Late learners on this path do not necessarily mean that they are worse off in learning. At times, they may be like a black stallion, suddenly dashing to the front. [04′52″]
Thus, one should uphold this kind of attitude to learn from Buddha, Master, every classmate in Lamrim class, or even from each sentient being. By upholding such mentality, one would not easily be hindered by the “Got it, I’ve got it!” attitude. Moreover, if we feel that we have understood, would arrogance not develop subsequently? Once arrogance arises, the longer one studies, the more arrogant one becomes. As in seniority, one tends to assume that one has seen and known it all! What is the only unknown territory? It is our mind! If that is the case, it would be what Master was trying to rectify over here – our erroneous learning attitude. [05′32″]
The longer one has studied, the more one would incline to have the feeling “I got it”, which would develop into negligence. Thus, while listening to the teachings, the flippant mind would arise [and be thinking], “Ah, I have heard it and know how it works!” Then the veneration disappears! The sincere quality is missing. Without veneration and an earnest attitude, how should we absorb the profound connotations? How should we fathom our mental states referred to in the teachings here? How are we able to identify our own mistaken and ignorant aspects? [06′03″]
Master asked here, “Yet, in reality, did you really realize [the true nature of reality]? Did you really let go? Are you really liberated? My [view] is that, with careful scrutiny, [we may attain knowledge to a certain extent], but we are definitely not at the encompassing stage.” In regard to the expression of “careful scrutiny”, are you still listening? “Careful scrutiny”, how do we do it? For instance, prior to a Lamrim lesson, do you need to properly shape the motivation toward listening? Have you heard of a Japanese Kendo master – Miyamoto Musashi? He mentioned: “Success or failure [of a contest] is determined within the scabbard.” Before the sword is pulled out, the success or failure is already decided. Whether it is a good [Lamrim] lesson or not, largely depends on our preparations and aspirations. If we have prepared well in advance, then we would be able to absorb most of the precious teachings during a lesson. On the other hand, if we start the class with a slacking attitude, without being earnest and respectful, then we would very likely muddle through the class. [07′21″]
Hence, should we be concerned on “how to listen to the teachings” with a proper attitude? Should the senior students be concerned about it? As we recall, in the very beginning, when we were learning Lamrim, wow! We had to conscientiously mentally prepare ourselves on “how to listen to the teachings”. As Lamrim is so profound, what if we could not understand it? The only concern we have is, what if I couldn’t understand it while listening to the teachings? It would barely occur to us, “Ah, I got it again. I understood that as well!” Such attitude would not arise. During that time, the only concern would be, one could not understand it, or one’s preparation was insufficient. Thus, before a Lamrim lesson, we should try very hard to contemplate the advantages of listening to the teachings, followed by properly shaping our motivation – as if sitting in a Dharma lecture hall, waiting for the arrival of Master. Embracing such veneration, anticipation and an earnest attitude, one does not wish to miss even a single word of Master. Are classmates still upholding this initial motivation? Please introspect properly. If one finds one’s motivation is not as earnest and sincere as in the beginning, then can we claim, “We got it”? [08′26″]
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